Shift Your story
Our life stories are often told from the tops of mountains
and bottom of the valley. The highest highs and the lowest lows, both equally
shadowing over the process of how we arrived at those specific destinations.
Our processes, practices, struggles, lessons, and moments of clarity are
glossed over and cast aside. They seem like the boring parts of the story, with
the focus being on the dramatic landscapes of our own heaven and hell.
What if we retold our stories based on these processes? How
would we reshape our story and inspire others around us? Social media often shows
the happy times in life or offers a place to receive instant sympathy. What if
we used it more for support, guidance, and collaboration? This may allow our
virtual lives to better match our authentic day-to-day grind, triumphs, and
tribulations.
I am first to admit I participate in showing a lot of the
positive aspects of my life on Facebook. I do not want others to know when I am
sad or struggling. I will share in person while teaching yoga some of the
process and then after I have moved through a lot of it, I then will share on
this blog. Part of this is that I do not want my friends to worry or perhaps
want my patients to know that I am human just like them. Although my goal in
being positive on-line is to serve as inspiration, I recognize that it is
selfish not to teach processes, practices, daily rituals, and the joy in
finding “the lesson”. So here I am, calling myself out… I need to step-up for
myself, my life purpose, and for everyone around me.
So, showing the positive things only is kind of ridiculous,
right? Do you find yourself doing something similar? Do you feel like you need
to be a superhero to everyone around you?
Some of my best examples include events from my childhood
that were severely burned into my brain and caused tremendous consternation in
my life. I will speak of them on stage while giving a motivational talk, but
often do not show that process of how I got from point a to point B.
I wills kip over the fact that I had to go to years of talk
therapy just to get over one line that my mother said to me on her death bed
when I was 14. I realize now as an adult that she was in massive pain and did
not know what she was saying. At 14 though having your mother tell you “your
4.0 GPA is not good enough” was extremely traumatizing. I spent the next three
years of high school in a therapist office once per week. I have zero shame
around this and find it liberating to admit.
Her words haunted me in every aspect of my life. I never ever felt like
I was enough or good enough. I felt like I had to reach perfection and still
that was not enough. This journey was daunting, dark, and often lonely. Her
words isolated me and it took time to regain my power.
I would love to jump ahead now in this story… Now, in my
early 30s I am confident, happy, and find perfection in all imperfections. But,
life does not work that way. The “nog good enough” cycle sometimes still dashes
around in circles in my brain. It longs to pull be back into its ugly pattern
of destruction. There was no magical solution or single reason that I became
strong enough to overcome its powers. It took lots of hard work that resulted
in picking myself back up time and time again. IT took moving thousands of miles
away for undergrad, surviving 30 surgeries, moving across the country again for
graduate school, failed relationships, starting a business, yoga teacher training,
and daily struggles in between. Each rejection turned into redirection.
Learning to look for the lesson instead of the cure or instant gratification.
These were all of my little foothills in-between the highest highs and the
lowest lows.
I did not wake-up one day and have a lightning bolt hit me,
knocking the feeling of unworthiness, sadness, and despair over losing my eyesight. It has taken years for me to overcome this,
accept the circumstance, be able to talk about it with others, release shame, and
achieve all of my highest aspirations.
The process was extremely slow, scary, and life changing. For years I
felt like I lived on a teeter-totter, not fully confident in my abilities
because of my so-called disability. The
interesting thing is that I believe part of the reason that I have been able to
achieve as much as I have was born out of pure stubbornness. When someone told
me that I could not do something that would make me so angry and would push me
to do it. My stubborn tenacity was motivating and allowed me to make my way through
undergrad, graduate school, even yoga teacher training. My innate intelligence
was telling me to keep going even when my adrenal glands were shot, I was
homesick, and in physical pain.
Another thing that I feel is important for me to disclose is
that I live in a lot of physical pain. The pain is literally in my face, my eye
pressure is constantly changing and creating problems for me. Before getting under
regular chiropractic care and Standard Process vitamins over ten years ago, I
put in up to 12 steroid drops per day to keep my eye pressure steady and
stable. I had horrific headaches, sometimes migraines, and a lot of neck
problems from having to sleep sitting up for months at a time. Today, I
experience less pain than before but still live in a state of chronic
discomfort.
At night, my retinas will react and put on a fantastic light
show whether my eyes are open or closed. The bright white light would be
described as “blinding” if I could still see! It is so bright that it hurts in
a way. It keeps me awake, causes deep frustration, and is not something that I
normally openly share. So, how do I get
through this? Well, these days I will read a book on my iPhone, meditate,
write, or get up and do something creative like make a necklace. There is no
point in me lying there irritated so I now know that I must shift my focus.
That is the lesson, because there is no cure to this disease process. This
disease is teaching me how to live on a deeper level so that I can in return
teach the world.
I am so far from perfect, but now a find worthiness in all
of my imperfections. I refuse to be defined by my eye disease or the fact that
I grew-up without my mother. Those are blips in my story and they did shape me
but they are not me. I am more than those individual stories, I am more than
what meets the eye.
Can you identify the stories that are shaping your life? How
can you dig a bit deeper, reveal your process, and then share it with others? How can you better live a life of purpose,
ease, and grace from your most authentic self?
It is time for you to be brave and re-shape how you tell your story. Be
a light in this world and help others transform themselves.
In love & light,
Dr. Elizabeth M. Wisniewski
Vitalistic Visionary, Yoga teacher, Chiropractor
